Song lyrics these days are so boring aren’t they? Whether we’re listening to the singer telling us that they ‘love you baby, yes I do, whoo-hoo’ or if they’re walking slowly down a hall faster than a cannon ball, it’s all a bit tiresome. However, have you ever thought what these same songs would be like if they were written by pretentious professors of the English Language? Suddenly, the singer isn’t ‘Mr. Blue Sky’, he’s ‘The gentleman with the nomenclature of azure troposphere’ and they’re not in a ‘Big Yellow Taxi’, they’re in a ‘Capacious Jaundiced hired conduit for multiple patrons’.So join me now and travel into a weird version of the pop universe where all the songs have far too many words and not many people have a clue what they’re about.